Katie

Katie and I have been friends since 7th grade, when we both liked the same (rather nerdy) guy. Great minds think alike, evidently, and we stayed friends. Some of the absolute best memories from middle hell (I mean, my middle school experience) were made with Katie, either on the phone, in English class, or (most of all) in choir. And we email a ton...below are some of the best ones (with the names edited out). Oh, and who could forget the disfest? The very beginning of the Gnome dynasty? That was made in choir, and I won't put up the whole thing or people will suss who it's about, but it was possibly the funniest thing ever to come out of the pencils of a pair of bored eighth graders. Now we're in ninth grade honors English and the worst class ever (Health) together and are the newest dangerous chicas (when we combine with our friend Kenzi) to enter LC.

From Emails

Katie: It's all good, homes. Nothing is happening over here, just got back from star wars........

IT WAS FUCKING GNAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie: StarWars is actually unbelievably nice...I normally am not so much for such things as they are too hard to follow. *gives own small brain the finger*

Katie: I haven't seen them (gnome and hobie)...I don't hang out too often on sprague.

How many marriages do you want in your lifetime?

Katie: of my own? none, I will live with my sisters and have a cat farm.

Fave ice cream:

Me: cherry moose tracks

Katie: sick...cherry=lame

Me: lame=anticherryists

River, ocean or lake?

Me: Either river or lake, but I don't dig oceans. Sounds are cool (think Puget)

Katie: Oh, like Puget Sound!! at first I was like "yah, sounds are pretty cool. you can like, hear them and everything..."

Chicken or egg?

Me: Um, primordial soup. Then the egg.

Katie: no clue

Me: egg formed from mass of random cells, hatched chicken, who...wait, there'd have to be 2 eggs unless the chicken could literally fuck itself. Ew. Self-fucking chicken...the other white meat.

Katie:no, silly, the chickens evolved then had more chickens, aka the eggs

Favorite item of clothing?

Katie: let it be shirt.

Me: I wanted one that said I Heart George, but as it didn't have a pic people might have thought it was George Bush. There's a store in Union Station in St. Louis called We're Selling the Beatles-it only sells Beatles memorabilia. You'd have been in heaven.

Katie:I must go to this place. must. go. now.

Me: When I go back to Missouri I'll get you something there. Or stow you away in my suitcase so you can go yourself.

Katie: somehow, I don't see myself doing that last bit.

Me: Fine. I'll let you go in the overhead bin.

Katie: excellent.

What are your favorite colors?

Katie: It's really weird actually, I randomly started liking orange. also I'm getting into green.

Me: I randomly like orange too. My carpet is orange-and I love lime green.

Katie: You should meet my aunt Jan.

Me: Is she orange and lime green? This I gotta see.

Katie: good one,but sadly no.

Me: Hmm. Skin dye. Must consider. Oh wait-I'm not Michael Jackson.

Katie: I think the whole country feels good knowing they can get up in the morning and say " Today is a good day, for I am not Michael Jackson."

From the Disfest

"I know [she has bad taste in men]. It's like, 'look at that sexy guy who looks like a smashed lawn gnome/troll!'"

"Maybe mutual masturbation with *edited* gives new meaning to the phrase 'warm up!'"

"Hunny, when your roots are by your ears, it's time to go back to the lady who gave you those skunk streaks in the first place!"